Hey! Happy New Year!
I was on vacation starting December 22 (or more precisely the Saturday 20th) and during that time I allowed myself to really stop. I know I don’t post often here, but I had lots of things going on, lots of learning but I wasn’t quite motivated to write about it. Right now I’m on countdown mode to get back to work.
Since October, I have been in a cycle of getting sick and recovering. Clearly, I didn't fully recovered. I wasn’t exercising much, I wasn’t running, I tried few times though.
At the same time, work was intense, we had a big delivery before the holidays, my focus was completely there. Then December arrived. Colder days. Rain. Darkness around 4 p.m. My brain was barely braining.
In December my willpower to exercise simply disappeared. I told myself that, like most people, I would “get back on track” in January.
I miss the runner Talita. But December, specially since I moved to Germany, turns me into someone ten times lazier and I will find small excuses to do nothing, or at least almost nothing. I tried to exercise once a week at least. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
When my vacation started, there was only one thing on my mind: “I will hibernate”.
I bought a lot of chips and I ate one pack per day (no regrets so far). I got a new e-reader, 2 puzzles, a new plant, a new Christmas tree and decoration. I also received gifts that perfectly supported my mode: tea, body creams, a pen for my e-reader, a new water bottle.
I woke up around 11. I read every day. I wrote on my journal every day. I made cookies with my boyfriend's nephews and niece.
I read about philosophy, learning-related topics, and, of course, some stuff related to Software Engineering.
My focus during this time was just about being present, doing things that I genuinely enjoy. Spending time with my boyfriend and his family. We had some nice dinners at home like HotPot, Raclette, and lots of snacks and beer.
I spent some time alone as well, which I deeply value and enjoy.
There were of course some downs. Since moving to Germany, this was the fifth end of the year I spent away from my family and friends in Brazil, and that always hits hard. Even so, we try to stay connected and close the distance when possible.
I had time to reflect on many things: life, the universe, human beings. My life. My career.
No conclusions.
But having the time to think intentionally, without the feeling that I have to do something else “more important”, that felt really good.
It’s a privilege.
Sometimes, more than setting goals or defining external structures to follow a path, we need to step back, breathe, feel and make sense of our thoughts and feelings.
Recently, I came across the idea of Eudaimonia. Not happiness as excitement, but as living in alignment with oneself.
This quiet time felt close to that.
It started to snow here, we have quite a lot of snow on the backyard. I finished my two puzzles and I’m traveling back to Berlin on Tuesday 6th, I heard that there’s quite some snow also there.
I’m slowly getting out of my hibernation mode and get back in work mode. I’ll slowly fix my diet, plan my running and strength exercises with my trainer. Even with yoga I stopped! Total “faultier” 🦥 . But it’s never too late when you’re still alive, né?
If you're still here. Thanks for reading :)
Happy new year, I wish all the best for you. ✨